Five Steps to Creating a Balanced Life

We Want It All

Health, happiness, family, and a financially secure future. We want it all. Achieving "balance" has become a goal of almost mythical proportions. Is it possible? Is it even worthwhile? Today, MaryEllen Tribby, a popular contributor to Early To Rise, shares her counterintuitive steps to building balance in your life.

Craig Ballantyne

"I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can't truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles." – Zig Ziglar
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Five Steps to Creating a Balanced Life

It was a simple business call. My colleague – "Larry" – had invited me to speak to his mastermind group on a teleconference later in the week. Nothing out of the ordinary. But my sister-in-law's mouth was hanging wide open.


"I can't believe he called you at 9:00 at night! Don't you think that is totally inappropriate?", Nancy asked.

Larry wanted me to speak to his mastermind group about accelerating their businesses' growth via multi-channel marketing. Given the fact that his attendee list included people like Tony Hsieh, Tony Robbins, and John Carlton – people I personally considered my mentors – I was honored to accept.

When I tried explaining this to my sister-in-law, she just waved her hand and said, "In my day, when you left the office at 5:00, you were done until 9:00 the next morning."

I thought about dropping the subject, but I couldn't resist the challenge.

She opted for early retirement about six years ago – but I asked her if, during her working years, she'd ever left the office to pick up a sick kid from school, go to a dentist appointment, or meet the cable man at her house.

When she begrudgingly nodded her head yes, I knew I had her attention. And I hope I have yours as well. If you think that your work life exists only between 9:00 and 5:00... and that your home and social life exists only between 5:00 and 9:00, you need to make a change.

I recommend that you resolve, right here and now, to make your life better, more rewarding, and more balanced. And I'm going to help you do it.

Who am I to talk about balance? Well, I'm a happily married mother of three who runs a business (with 38 employees), and a foundation, and is heavily involved in her kids school and sporting activities. Over the past few years, I've gotten pretty good at managing all the different aspects of my life in a way that makes me feel happy and proud.

The very first step to creating a happier, healthier lifestyle is to realize that "9:00 to 5:00" no longer applies. By giving yourself the flexibility to do business at all hours of the day or night, you are actually better able to enjoy both your work and your family even more.

This may sound counter-intuitive but by taking the following five simple steps, you will be able to break free of the 9:00 to 5:00 shackles.

Creating Balance Step One: Define what a balanced life means to you.

Many people think that having a balanced life means spending the same number of hours on work as you do on personal activities. This is a big mistake, because most of the time it's not realistic.

To define what will work for you, you need to take into consideration that life is constantly changing. And the right balance for you today may not be the right balance for you tomorrow or next week or next month, because over time your priorities change.

Creating Balance Step Two: Create Boundaries

Some people may agree with my sister-in-law that receiving a business call at 9:00 at night is inappropriate. But the way I look at it is that Larry is someone who is good for my organization and good for my career. Besides, when I met him at a conference earlier this year, he asked me for the best way to reach me. I gave him my e-mail address and my cell number. So why shouldn't he call?

And keep in mind that I made the decision to take his call that night – I created the boundary. It happened to be a good time to talk. However, if he'd made the call 90 minutes earlier – when I was doing homework with the kids – I would have let it go to voice mail and called him back when it was convenient for me.

Later that week, I was the keynote speaker on the mastermind teleconference Larry had invited me to. Many of the attendees learned a great deal. In fact, I got several e-mails from attendees saying they'd purchased Changing the Channel, the book on multi-channel marketing that I co-authored with Michael Masterson. Others called or e-mailed to ask if they could promote the book to their in-house list.

Had I adopted the attitude that I would do business only from 9:00 to 5:00, I may have lost out on a wonderful opportunity that proved to be valuable both to my company and to me personally.

Because I advocate balance, I support the efforts my team members make in striving for balance in their own lives. Some of them work in the evening and/or on the weekends. So I have no problem with it if they need to leave to take care of something personal. I truly believe that your accomplishments aren't dependent on how much time you spend in the office.

Creating Balance Step Three: Learn how to say "No."

No one wants to say no to their boss, their spouse, their employees, their friends, or their kids. But to achieve balance, you are going to have to do it once in a while.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. And we cannot possibly do everything that we want to do AND everything that everyone else wants us to do. So a big part of leading a more balanced life is to cut down on unnecessary tasks and protect your priorities.

When requests or conflicts are set before you, ask yourself: "Is this going to give me a feeling of accomplishment and a feeling of happiness?"

Years ago, a good friend of mine – "Rita" – wanted my husband and me to meet her new boyfriend. He was "the one" as she put it. So we made dinner plans for the following evening.

But when our two-month-old baby Delanie woke up in the morning, with a fever, I called Rita and apologized, but told her we would have to cancel. I just did not feel right about leaving the baby with a sitter.

Rita was irate. She said I was overreacting, and asked how I could possibly feel that way given that Delanie was our third child.

As I held Delanie though the day and night, I knew I had made the right decision. But I was saddened by Rita's anger – and her anger lasted for weeks.

Then, about five weeks after the infamous missed dinner, Rita called to say that "the one" had dumped her. This time it was her turn to apologize, saying that now she realized I had made the right decision.

Social decisions are one thing, but work decisions can be more difficult. You must learn that sometimes you have to choose your family, your health, or even your social life over work. And you'll also have to make some hard decisions to put work first.

For instance, I take my health seriously. A few months ago, a doctor's appointment conflicted with a last-minute visit from one of the industry's top marketing minds. The only chance I had to see him was during the time I'd reserved for my appointment. Since I wasn't sick and the appointment was for a simple check up, I didn't think twice about rescheduling.

Creating Balance Step Four: Keep a journal.

The only way to make your life better is to understand what you're doing, what's working, and what isn't. And there are far too many things going on in our lives to try to keep it all in our heads.

So keep a journal. Write down what you spend time on – everything from the meetings you attend to how many times you go to the gym.

Keeping a journal will help you see if you are spending your time in the most productive way – and it will make you accountable for your actions. It will help you accomplish your professional and personal goals, and will make you proud of those accomplishments.

Creating Balance Step Five: Understand that you're not a superhero.

Having a balanced life means being realistic. Realistic about the fact that some things are just not going to get done. And you have to be okay with that.

When my husband and I got married 15 year ago, we both had busy careers. But we still enjoyed spending time decorating and upgrading our home with art and new furniture. After a busy day, we loved coming home to our immaculate sanctuary.

Well... once we had kids, things started looking a lot different. Instead of the beautiful vase I picked up in Mexico on the coffee table – there was a stuffed Elmo.

Soon our Tiffany picture frames were replaced by toy trains. And many days, while we're making dinner, the kids have all the pots and pans on the floor.

But instead of spending my time cleaning up and trying to make my house look perfect, I would much rather play with the kids, banging on the pots and pans with them and playing with trains.

There are always things out of place in my house – but that is exactly the way it should be. Because when I come home to my family, I absolutely have a feeling of great accomplishment and happiness!

This goes for work, too. You may have a dozen projects on your plate, and only so much time to complete them. Don't get down on yourself for re-prioritizing one of them so you can spend more time on marketing, or so you can care for your ailing grandmother, or so you can spend an hour at the gym.

Following the other guidelines I've recommended – figuring out what kind of balance is right for you, creating boundaries, picking priorities, and knowing what's working and what isn't – will help you feel confident that your accomplishments are enough... even if you have more goals you want to achieve.

By MaryEllen Tribby

[Ed. Note. MaryEllen Tribby has created the site, www.WorkingMomsOnly.com, as the leading website and newsletter for the empowerment of the working moms. Her mission is to supply the tools that can give EVERY working mom the ability to lead a healthy, wealthy, and more balanced/blended lifestyle. To create a community where millions of working moms from all over the world come together in support and celebration of each other.]

Source : http://www.earlytorise.com/


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The Magic of the Free Day

My mother retired in 2004, and since then she's been as busy than ever, but doing the things she's always wanted to do with her time off (volunteering, seeing more plays and concerts, etc.).


But you don't have to wait until you're retired to do these things. Today, Dan Sullivan shows you how to have more magical free days in 2012, even if you run your own business.

Craig Ballantyne

"Fulfillment comes from a life of meaningful achievement and from being present in each moment while moving in the direction we most want to move." – Peter Bregman

Free Day™ Breakthrough
By Dan Sullivan

A Free Day™ is a 24-hour period free from all work-related thinking, communication, and activity. In all my years of coaching entrepreneurs, Free Days™ are the change they most often thank me for helping them make. They help you stay creative at work, keep you physically and mentally healthy, and deepen your relationships with the people in your life who matter most.

Even if you know all this and agree with it, when you're under pressure or facing unexpected upheaval, you might start thinking of Free Days as a luxury that's hard to justify. That's why it's important to regularly reinforce the Free Day habit, consistently protecting them and taking them, because Free Days are the last thing you should give up in tough times.

When people "fall off the wagon" and begin losing the productivity gains they've made, it usually starts with compromising their personal free time. It may start innocuously with, "I'll just get this one thing done," then gradually slide into a state of living in a "Reactive Zone" where each new thing becomes even more complicated because they have no new energy for dealing with it.

The flip side of this experience is using Free Days to make sure as much of your work time as possible is spent in the "Creative Zone" where things seem easier, your relationships are more enjoyable and helpful, you've got lots of new ideas, your actions are effective, and you're doing all this without creating new messes.

The three biggest obstacles to taking Free Days are panic, guilt, and confusion:

•Panic: "I'll take Free Days when this is all over."
•Guilt: "How can I take a vacation when my team has to work?"
•Confusion: "What will I do if I'm not at work?

Let's look at each of these three:

"I'll take Free Days when this is all over."

Of course, it's never over – there's always something you could be doing for your business. The most successful entrepreneurs, however, evolve out of being "Rugged Individuals" who do everything themselves, and learn to delegate, empower others, and focus on doing what they do best.

These skills become even more important when emergencies happen. Besides, when you go too long without taking Free Days, everything starts to seem like an emergency. Driving this feeling of panic is the notion that, should you step away, there would be a complete catastrophe. In our experience, though, stepping back creates simplicity.

"How can I take a vacation when my team has to work?"

By starting your own business and raising it to its current level of success, you've taken risks and poured a lot of yourself into the company. Your team members (who get weekends, annual leave, and statutory holidays off) haven't made this kind of investment, so it's perfectly appropriate if you're rewarded differently. And if you really want to be of service to your team members, remember that you're far more valuable to them when you're fully rejuvenated and present.

Entrepreneurs ask us, "How can I get my team to work on their own, without having to constantly come to me?" Leave from time to time, that's how! When you're not there, your team members get a chance to catch up and to learn how to make decisions and take action independent of you.

"What will I do if I'm not at work?"

This is the biggest obstacle for many entrepreneurs. Work is rewarding–you're good at it. You get things for being good at it. The rewards in other parts of your life might be less tangible or measurable, and you might not be as good at them. Consistently going back to work–either physically or mentally–can quickly become a habit.

My experience from working with thousands of entrepreneurs is that one-dimensional people are vulnerable to losses in other areas of their life, such as deteriorations in their marriage or health. And paying exclusive attention to work isn't even a good business strategy, since business ultimately becomes the only thing you know. Creativity always involves an element of novelty.

No matter how much you love your work, there are always other realms in life that can give you opportunities to use your capabilities. And what's all this success you're building actually for if not to provide you with a rich life? Free Days are an investment in your future happiness and productivity that you won't regret.

Strategies for taking great Free Days.

It takes some practice to get the hang of Free Days, and, like diet and exercise, they need to be an active part of your life, not just something you know would be good for you. Luckily, the practice is its own reward!

Here are some strategies that really work:

1) Schedule your Free Days in advance.

As you look over the time ahead, try to schedule Free Days just before periods when you know you'll need to be your most productive. Think of it this way: one vacation, one breakthrough; two vacations, two breakthroughs; and on and on.

By booking your Free Days in advance, or even putting someone else in charge of your Free Days, you save yourself from having to justify or negotiate them with others–or yourself–at the time.

2) Do what you really want to do.

Don't make your Free Days just a different set of obligations, spending the whole day doing things for everyone but you. You might be rejuvenated by spending time on your own, or by being surrounded by other people. You may enjoy high-energy activities or quiet time. For some, a natural environment is a soothing break from our technological civilization.

Whatever you choose, it's important that it's consistent with who you are and what you need. If you're planning Free Days with friends or family members, involving them in the planning will ensure that you come up with something everyone enjoys.

If you're stuck for Free Day ideas, check in with your lifetime goals, and see if there's anything you can do that will move you closer to them. Or you might want to start small and achieve something you've been meaning to get to for a long time.

3) Let your team members help you.

Your team members can see when you're tired, even if you haven't noticed yourself falling into that state. When it seems like they're not understanding you or that they're just not "getting it," that's a sign that you need Free Days–and they have a vested interest in helping you take them! Their results depend on your creativity, for one. And you can be sure they prefer working with the rested and rejuvenated version of you.

4) Train your clientele.

There are two ways you can wean your clients and customers off having constant access to you. First, help them understand that Free Days mean that when they do get to be with you, you will always be fully charged and present with them.

Second, in certain areas, your team members have specific talents that actually enable them to take better care of these clients and customers than you can. So, in presenting this change, you can reassure your clientele that you're leaving them in the hands of a specialist. If they're properly introduced to this concept and the transition is smooth, their experience of your business can actually improve:

Getting less of you personally can be an opportunity for them to get more of the value they come to you for.

Do one thing.

If you don't already have a Free Day strategy in place, just start where you are and do one thing–book a single Free Day, brainstorm about locations or activities for your free time, or have a conversation with your spouse or friends about something you could do together. All that matters is that you do something, however small, to start developing the Free Day habit.

The most successful entrepreneurs manage to achieve a balance between their personal and professional lives. If you consider that balance an important part of your lifetime goals, Free Days can provide a crucial strategic tool for making sure you attain it, and that you enjoy all the freedom your success affords you.

[Ed. Note. Dan Sullivan is the president and co-founder of Strategic Coach®, a global organization that has helped tens of thousands of entrepreneurs grow their businesses exponentially while enjoying an exceptional quality of life. He is the author of more than 30 publications on the subject of entrepreneurship.]

Source : http://www.earlytorise.com/


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